You are NOT the main character

“Main character energy” is a term that has entered popular culture over the past decade, but it outlines a timeless human tendency: the need to put yourself at the center of everything.

But this need to feel like the center of attention, although mostly well-intentioned, is more harmful than it is helpful.

Always believing that you’re the main character is a surefire way to make emotional, reactive decisions.

Instead, be the director of your life.

The main character is attached to the way he feels. Things need to go his way in order for him to feel alright.

The director on the other hand looks at things with a certain detachment that’s necessary to see the bigger picture.

Attachment (the main character’s state) is about what feels good.

Detachment (the director’s state) is about what is right.

Directors don’t make their characters shine by having everything going their way or appealing to their vanity at every turn, but they put them through difficult decisions and high obstacles so that they can surpass them and grow.

Short term pain for long term success.

Think about the times you give your friends the best advice, but find yourself doing the opposite in similar situations.

When you advise friends, you can see things with the clarity of a director standing behind the camera. You see each character, their intentions, and most importantly, you aren’t as empotionally invested in the outcome. You have their best interest in mind, but you don’t worry about the initial hurt that will come with doing the right thing because you don’t have to face it yourself.

Be the director to your own life.

Writing is the perfect tool to help you bypass your feelings and make the right decision. You can abstract even the most personal experiences and make sure you see the outcomes of each potential action.

But in truth, as far as consciousness is concerned, you are the main character.

But only when you look at the scene from afar and come up with the best decision to make, feel free to step into the spotlight and take your place at the center of the stage.