In Praise of Giving Praise

Author

Jamil Vanheyningen
September 17, 2023

If someone is doing a good job, let them know!

This story, told to us by Walt Disney’s brother-in-law, is a good reminder of what can happen when we reach out to people doing good work:

"We were traveling in New England and stopped for lunch in a little tea room. It had pictures by Norman Rockwell all over the walls. Walt said, ’Rockwell lives around here, doesn’t he?’ The waitress answered that he did and told him to go back three miles down the road and turn at the covered bridge. Walt and I, along with our wives (Walt’s wife, Lillian, and Cottrell’s wife Hazel who was Lillian’s sister), ended up spending a couple of hours with Rockwell. We just dropped in on him-it was nothing formal. He was mowing the grass when we drove up.”

Bill Colltrell

This kind gesture by Disney to tell Rockwell he liked his work began a friendship that lasted the rest of their lives.

And while I don’t recommend showing up at your hero’s doorstep unannounced, I think this story should be a lesson in reaching out to people you respect.

For example, Billy Oppenheimer reached out to bestselling author Ryan Holiday a few years ago to pay him a compliment. Eventually, the correspondence slowly turned into a direct apprenticeship under Ryan.

The full story is here.

Here are some simple ways you can be like Walt and Billy:

  • Cold email/DM people doing work you really like. You’d be surprised at how many of them respond!

  • Telling a small business owner how much you like their… coffee, art, jewelry, etc.

  • Reposting and sharing your friend’s work so that more people can see it

These are things you can do daily that make a big difference! Each time I get an unsolicited message about my writing, the feeling of gratitude never gets old.

And like Disney, I’ve made countless friends being on both the receiving and giving end of a compliment.

When someone likes what you’re doing, it is a good indicator that you both have similar values and taste, which is essentially what friends are.

And if you are apprehensive about promoting “competitors”, don’t be.

Few games in life that are worth playing are zero-sum. When you promote someone else doing work you enjoy, you are elevating the medium. And as the old saying goes, a rising tide lifts all boats.

So make the effort to reach out to at least one person and tell them that they’re doing great work! Don’t worry about their follower count, fame, or wealth. They can be penniless and obscure or rich and famous, so long as you enjoy their work.

At the very least you will shrink your ego just a bit, and in the best cases, you can gain a friend for life.