All I do is play games

Am I a fool for forsaking what I have, or am I a visionary for seeing that I can be so much more?

Maybe I’m BOTH.

I think being both is what makes me human.

If I was a robot it would be so easy to pick a single point of view and run with it. We humans don’t have it that easy.

We’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t. And that’s why it’s important to do what is right for YOU. Make the decisions YOU can live with. After all, you’re the only one who has to live with the consequences of each of your actions. So act like it!

Introspection has taught me that what I lack in latent talent I make up for in being able to endure. Put more simply, I don’t mind failing.

A common misconception that people have about me is that I am a quick learner. While I don’t resent that label, I do realize how silly it is.

I often reread the same passage several times to understand it, or have to get simple concepts explained to me all the time because I simply can’t wrap my head around them.

My point is that any intellect I possess has been seized through more struggle than should be expected. And yet I never regret the effort.

Why?

Because unlike Sisyphus, I roll my boulder up the hill WILLINGLY.

I know it will slip, I know the climb sucks, and I know there is no top of the mountain.

It is an “Infinite Game” as James P. Carse perfectly coined it.

So while I will ALWAYS be grateful for where I come from and what I have, the best version of myself is playing an infinite game that has both the present and the future in mind.

So let’s revisit the question at the beginning: Am I a fool for forsaking what I have, or am I a visionary for seeing that I can be so much more?

At my WORST I’m both, but at my BEST I’m neither.

At my best, I am aware of my mortality. This kind of awareness imbues the present moment with a special care that is otherwise impossible to feel.

These words are the perfect example: At my worst, I am stressed about how much others will agree with this. At my best, I am using all the information and skills at my disposal to create the best collection of words and phrases.

I want as many people to read this as possible, sure, but I would rather these words reach people as profoundly as possible.

How does that happen? Sinking deep into the present moment.

If I can die tomorrow, these words have to mean something to me NOW.

When your function is your fate, you will always be whole.