Why Do Your Relationships Matter?

My dog, Bruce, is the first dog I've ever had.

If you’ve never had one, here’s what you need to know:

Dogs can be a lot.

You need to walk them every day, train them on what not to do and what to do, give them enough attention but not too much, and so many other things. It’s what I would imagine raising a child is like, except they aren’t nearly as intelligent as people.

It's tough.

He's chilled out now after escaping the puppy years, but the first two years with him were quite the time. And I wasn't even there the whole time with him growing up because of baseball and travel.

But with all that being said, he's loyal and loving, and that counts for a lot.

I've found that the same goes with people.

I'm a weird person, and all my friends have their own quirks, too. But good friends, family, and loved ones literally support one another.

Your strengths make up for their weaknesses, and vice versa.

As long as you have enough common ground to stand on, the rifts are more like cracks in the sidewalk than large craters.

The way I think about love and loyalty changed when my grandmother said something about Bruce one day.

"You guys should feel lucky," she says over and over again. "For better or worse, that dog is as loyal as they come."

And ever since then, when I found myself impatient with anyone I love, I think about that.

I am one of the more patient people I know, but I have no patience for infidelity. To me, truth and loyalty matter a whole lot more than the specifics or, "what somebody has to offer".

For all of his faults, Bruce has never intentionally done any harm, and that's how I judge people now.

Are they praying that I fail?

Are they intentionally doing me harm?

Did they go behind my back or slight me?

If so, then we're done. There's no relationship to be had after that.

I don't mind mistakes, flaws, or shortcomings. What I do mind is when people lie to me, when they misuse my trust, or when they simply don't support me.

My relationships mean a lot to me. I will do just about anything within reason, and even beyond reason, to help the people who help me stay sane and achieve my goals.

My friends and family are the only reason I've had any opportunities in my life at all. They're the reason I was able to make it as far as I did with baseball. They're the reason I'm writing right now and building this thing. And they're the reason why I’m able to lead a fulfilled life every day.

Some of them have put me in some sticky situations, but it's never intentional. When problems or dangers arise, we've always been able to work our way out of it together.

But that's not why I value relationships. It's much more simple than that.

I desire deep, heartfelt connections with people because that's what we were all born to do.

In Kurt Vonnegut's The Sirens of Titan, one of the characters says that the purpose of life is to "love whoever is around to be loved."

So that's what I try to do: love whoever's around to be loved, as much as they're willing to let me do so.

There are people in this world who will go to unbelievable lengths for you. They’ll drive hours or take a flight at the drop of a hat when you need them. They’re just a phone call away, 24/7, 365.

And when you say ask for their help, they don’t ask why, they say “how do you need me to help?”

Like a dog who senses a threat, they will bark and stand guard before they know what's going on.

When you let them know it’s ok, they disengage.

Don’t you want that?

Don’t you DESERVE that?

Well, then be that person yourself.

Go to those kinds of lengths for people, just a few, and people will begin doing the same.

Loyalty and effort have a way of connecting you with the people you belong with.

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