I have a confession: Sometimes I pretend that I'm Kurt Vonnegut

Sometimes I pretend that I'm Kurt Vonnegut.

More precisely, I like to pretend that I can write like Kurt Vonnegut. To do that, I copy passages from his stories word for word, by hand, as if I were creating the scenes myself.

Early in his career, the now-legendary author Hunter S. Thompson typed out The Great Gatsby on his typewriter. He copied the entire novel from start to finish, word for word, “just to get the feeling” of what it was like to write a masterpiece.

I am trying to capture the same feeling using Vonnegut’s stories.

And Hayao Miyazaki’s.

And Christopher Nolan’s.

I have read and watched and studied their stories (and the men themselves) so much that sometimes I feel like I could write additional or adjacent scenes within their worlds.

So for my intents and purposes, I AM the young Chris Nolan, renting motel rooms while writing the screenplay to his film Memento.

I AM Kurt Vonnegut, realizing that linear time is a suggestion, rather than an absolute.

I AM Hayao Miyazaki, realizing full well my hypocrisy when my art shows others the right way to live while the creation of my art requires me to sometimes live in direct opposition of those ideals.

I’m NOT, but I AM.

Or at least, I try my best to get there mentally.

And for someone who talks so much about being yourself and doing what is right for you, this kind of thinking seems contrary to that.

But there’s a quote by Austin Kleon that explains why you can’t screw up being yourself: “The human hand is incapable of making a perfect copy.”

In each iteration, original or copied, you are sure to leave some sign of your personality.

In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron explains an exercise that illustrates this idea: signing your signature.

If you’re curious and have a pen and paper nearby, try it out before reading on. Sign your signature quickly without thinking much about it.

Your signature is an instant lens into what you’re like as a person, or at least what you’re like at the moment.

A large, seemingly rushed signature shows brazenness. A smaller, ornate signature on the other hand suggests a timid, careful attitude.

Your personality is not just present in what you choose to say or do, but in how you choose to do these things.

Copying a novel, a screenplay, or your favorite basketball player’s signature move is no different. You can’t ever copy someone exactly. If you read Moby Dick aloud, you would emphasize and pronounce words differently than your English teacher would.

This is why I dislike the idea of an “autodidact”, or the self-taught individual. In truth, even if you have no formal education, your ability to teach yourself anything is because others have left behind resources like books or courses for you to follow.

“Nothing from nothing leaves nothing,” Billy Preston once said.

In other words, you can’t ever truly become the best version of yourself without the help of others. Trying to create out of a void leaves you with… well, a void.

So if you ever feel stuck, or just don’t know where to start, start by copying.

After you copy, observe.

Which part of the basketball move you were copying was difficult?

Why?

What’s different about you and the person you’re copying?

What’s the same?

Repeat this process enough times, and you’ll have a deeper understanding of who you are and what you can (and cannot) do.