"You Only Meet 3 Great Women in Your Life"

In the film “A Bronx Tale”, the Italian protagonist Calogero(aka “C”) falls in love with an African-American girl. The story is set in the 60s, so because of the environment, he is hesitant to act on his feelings. Unsure of what to do, he goes to his mentor Sonny for advice.

Sonny’s advice to C is that the only thing that matters is whether he likes the girl or not. His theory is that great women come around as often as great fighters do — that is, not often at all.

"You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime,” Sonny begins to explain, “They come along like the great fighters, once every ten years"

Whether it be dating, friendships, careers, homes, or any other important opportunities, you have to realize that you only get so many “greats” presented to you.

Whether or not the exact amount is 3 doesn’t matter. What does matter is that great opportunities are scarce.

Once you understand this, you have to fight the initial anxiety you may feel.

3 chances at greatness? What if I miss all 3 of them?

The solution is easy: Don’t take anything seriously if you aren’t certain that it is the best you can do.

Naval Ravikant

Perhaps the clearest explanation for how to find great opportunities in life comes from Naval Ravikant:

Dating is the best example, so let’s take that a bit further. Unless you’re lucky and find your “soulmate”(I resent that term, but I’ll use it for the sake of brevity) when you’re 16, it’s going to take a long time to find someone you’re truly in love with.

In fact, I’d reason that a lot of people never find the love they deserve because they can’t be happy without being in a relationship. People too often date someone they merely get along with because they think it’s better than the alternative — being alone.

And in the short term, it is! In a vacuum, if you had to compare dating and not dating, dating is usually more fun. It involves frequent intimacy, sex, and a more selfless lifestyle in general. But that doesn’t take into account opportunity cost or longevity.

You see, the longer you stay in a mediocre relationship, the worse your chance of being able to pursue your “3 great loves” that Sonny swears we all meet.

Dating, after all, is a numbers game. The more people you meet and get to know, the better the chance is that you meet someone whose company you really enjoy.

But if you’re stuck in a bad relationship, how are you going to meet those other people?

YOU CAN’T.

Similarly, if you’re in a job you hate, by default you can’t be doing work that you love — they are mutually exclusive.

The second you realize this isn’t the person, the place, or the career you want to spend your life with, move on! Whether it’s the first date or the 20th, it doesn’t matter. The quicker you can move on from each shallow opportunity, the better your chance of finding a great one.

Warren Buffet and Ted Williams

Ted Williams, one of the best hitters in the history of baseball, wrote a book titled “The Science of Hitting”. The first rule in the book was told to him by fellow Hall of Famer Roger Hornsby:

“To get a good ball to hit.”

Simple, right?

Basically, unless he had two strikes in the count Ted Williams’ philosophy was to only swing at pitches in his “sweet spot” and lay off pitches he didn’t hit well.

Legendary investor Warren Buffet stole Williams’ advice and applied it to his investing career:

“The trick in investing is just to sit there and watch pitch after pitch go by and wait for the one right in your sweet spot, and if people are yelling, 'Swing, you bum!' ignore them,” Warren explained.

Similarly, I found some advice from Buffet’s late partner Charlie Munger that sounds a lot like the advice Sonny gives in A Bronx Tale:

“Go[ing] broke”, for our purposes, can also mean a bad divorce or career burnout. It’s all the same. Putting all your chips on the wrong opportunities will bankrupt you, financially and spiritually.

Instead, wait for the opportunity in your “sweet spot” and go all in when given the chance.

Thinking Long Term

It’s important to note that it takes time and experience to know the difference between good opportunities and bad ones, between good pitches to hit and bad ones.

For example, Ted Williams had to go through thousands of pitches in high school, the minor leagues, and early in his MLB career until he compiled a reliable enough track record to know what pitches he hit better than others.

Remember how Sonny said he met his 3 great women when he was 16? At the time he likely didn’t know it, or else he never would have let those relationships go. He was saying that in hindsight, after a lifetime of failed romances. It was those failures that allowed him to see that those 3 women were great for him.

But Sonny’s mistake was in thinking that the well had gone dry.

Sure, you only get so many opportunities that are really meant for you, but so long as you’re alive the number is never 0.

So keep going up to bat and the next time you get a “good ball to hit”, give it your best swing.

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant was one of my best reads this year, and there is a digital copy available for FREE at the link here. Please read it, it’s worth reading and rereading again and again: https://www.navalmanack.com/almanack-of-naval-ravikant/play-long-term-games-with-long-term-people

The Charlie Munger quote comes from this podcast episode:

If you have MAX, you can watch the Warren Buffet Documentary I got the quote from: https://www.max.com/movies/becoming-warren-buffett/ba67620c-448a-4922-93e6-f397bf98fdb8